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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

All right. It is time for our final game, Lightning Fill-In-The-Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Bobcat has two. Maz and Roxanne each have three.

SAGAL: All right. So Bobcat, you are in third place. You are going to start first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, the Supreme Court voted 4-4 to block Obama's executive action on blank.

BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: Immigration.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, U.S. officials confirmed that blank launched two mid-range missiles toward Japan.

GOLDTHWAIT: North Korea.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Alaska's annual Midnight Sun baseball game was called on account of blank.

GOLDTHWAIT: Sun.

SAGAL: No, darkness. On Thursday...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Volkswagen agreed to pay over $10 billion to settle their blank scandal case.

GOLDTHWAIT: The incorrect emissions.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Instead of answering questions about Donald Trump, Representative Darrell Issa of California blanked.

GOLDTHWAIT: Did an interpretive dance.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He jumped over a fence and ran away.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Representative Issa was attempting to get into the RNC headquarters when assembled reporters and protesters began to ask him questions about the presumptive nominee of his party. Instead of answering, Representative Issa hopped over a fence and ran as fast as he could.

GOLDTHWAIT: Hilarious.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Bobcat do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got three right - six more points. He has a total of eight. He is in the lead.

GOLDTHWAIT: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We flipped a coin. Roxanne has elected to go last. So Maz, you are up next. Fill in the blank. This week, senator and former presidential hopeful blank went back on his pledge and decided to run for re-election.

MAZ JOBRANI: Rubio.

SAGAL: Yes. Marco.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the House approved a bill allowing $1.1 billion in spending to combat blank.

JOBRANI: The Zika.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, FARC rebels signed a ceasefire agreement with the government of blank.

JOBRANI: Colombia.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Thanks to an X-ray machine, a woman in Boulder was prevented from smuggling blank into the courthouse there.

JOBRANI: A gun.

SAGAL: No, a giant iguana.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Thursday, two sick U.S. workers landed safely in Chile after being rescued from a research base at blank.

JOBRANI: Antarctica.

SAGAL: Yes, South Pole.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It was announced this week that the new "Star Wars" movie would feature the return of blank.

JOBRANI: Darth Vader.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Swedish professional soccer player was ejected from a game this week after he blanked during play.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

JOBRANI: He was ejected after he blanked during play. He showed off his nudity. He went naked.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He farted.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to the ref, he saw the offending act as quote, "a deliberate provocation."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Therefore, the player received a red card. But the player claims he's innocent saying quote, "I had a bad stomach. Maybe he thought I farted in my hand and threw the fart at him. But I did not."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Regardless of intent, the smell was so bad that this was the first time in the history of soccer that players fell to the ground in pain and actually meant it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Maz do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Hey, Maz did all right. Five right. Ten more points. Total of 13. He stepped in and took that lead right away from the Bobcat.

JOBRANI: All right.

GOLDTHWAIT: Yeah. Thanks, Bill.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: How many, then, does Roxanne need to win as we know she always loves to do?

KURTIS: Five to tie, six to win.

SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Roxanne. This is for the game. On Wednesday, thousands gathered to celebrate the blank's first NBA championship title.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: The Cleveland Cavaliers.

SAGAL: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the Supreme Court upheld blank for university admissions.

ROBERTS: Affirmative action.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a woman in Newfoundland called 911 to report blank.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: There was this soccer player outside her window.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That her pizza did not have enough cheese on it.

ROBERTS: Ah, of course.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Thursday, scientists reported that there may have been a liquid ocean on blank.

ROBERTS: Venus.

SAGAL: No, Pluto. This week...

ROBERTS: Pluto

SAGAL: ...A judge ruled that Led Zeppelin did not plagiarize their song blank.

ROBERTS: "Stairway to Heaven."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A passenger in an elevator in Encino, Calif., was shocked when the emergency phone rang and the person on the other end blanked.

ROBERTS: Said they were stuck in an elevator.

SAGAL: No. The person on the other end of the phone - of the emergency phone in the elevator, tried to sell him a timeshare.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Guy's riding in the elevator, as you do, everything's fine, when suddenly the emergency phone starts ringing. And he's afraid that something might be wrong. So he pushes the answer button. And the person on the other end starts telling him to act now or miss an exciting opportunity to purchase a vacation property at amazingly low prices. We wanted to learn more, but we couldn't reach the man in his new summer home, a beautiful elevator in Palm Springs.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Roxanne do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She got three right, six more points, total of nine. Let's hear it for Maz, our winner this week.

ROBERTS: Nice.

JOBRANI: Wow.

(APPLAUSE)

JOBRANI: High five. Fist bump, fist bump.

ROBERTS: (Laughter).

JOBRANI: Fist bump.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict how they will finally fix the situation in Rio.

WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircut Productions - Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philipp Goedicke writes our limericks. Our intern is When You Come At The Lillian King, You Best Not Miss. Our web guru is Beth Novey. BJ Leiderman composed out theme. Our program is produced by Robin Linn and Miles Doornbos. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Ann Nguyen. Our production coordinator is Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. The executive producer of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is Mike Bailing Out Early Danforth. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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