Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
9:52 am
Sat March 23, 2013

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our panelists now has 60 seconds to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can; each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Charlie and Amy have three and Tom has two.

SAGAL: OK, Tom, you're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Senator Harry Reid said this week that he is leaving the blank ban out of his gun violence bill.

TOM BODETT: Assault ban. Assault weapons ban.

SAGAL: Assault weapons, right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In his latest health initiative, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is pushing to require stores to conceal blank from view.

BODETT: Those big soda drinks.

SAGAL: No, that was last week. This is cigarettes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: An aviation historian said this week that he has evidence that German immigrant Gustav Whitehead successfully flew two years before the blanks did.

BODETT: The Wright Brothers.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After being charged with disorderly conduct in the Racine Public Library, a judge has banned a Wisconsin man from blanking.

BODETT: The Racine Public Library.

SAGAL: No, he has banned him from all the libraries on the face of the earth.

(LAUGHTER)

BODETT: For six months?

SAGAL: No, forever. Rapper Lil' Wayne was released from a hospital this week after he OD'd on blank.

BODETT: Yogurt.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: It was called Sizzurp. I believe it is a codeine cough syrup. In 140 character messages, on Thursday users marked the seventh anniversary of the site blank.

BODETT: Oh, Twitter.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Traffic wardens who ticketed a parked car in Germany didn't realize that it was actually blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

BODETT: A statue of a car.

SAGAL: No, close. It was full size snow sculpture of a Volkswagen Beetle.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The sculpture was so realistic looking that police didn't know they'd...

BODETT: Statue, sculpture.

AMY DICKINSON: Wait, he should get that.

BODETT: Where's the secret judge?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hang on. We have the most authoritative voice in television right here. Bill, does he get points for saying sculpture when it's a snow sculpture.

KURTIS: Yes.

SAGAL: Yes, says Bill.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: Thank you, Bill. You're a friend.

SAGAL: Well, what happened, of course, was that the snow sculpture of a Beetle looked so realistic that the police came and gave it a ticket. And they started scraping away the snow to get to the license place. And they scraping until they were like in the driver's seat of the thing.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's just all snow. Police...

BODETT: I had a car like that.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A police spokesman said quote, "We can take a joke as well as the next person. But whether it was made of metal or snow it was still obstructing a road that should have been clear." In other words, they can't take a joke.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Tom do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well Tom got four more points, a total of eight, and ten, so he has the lead.

BODETT: Feeling good.

SAGAL: There you go.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. We've flipped a coin. Charlie has elected to go last. Amy, you're up next. Fill in the blank. More than 200,000 people packed St. Peter's Square on Tuesday to see the inauguration of blank.

DICKINSON: The Pope.

SAGAL: Yes, Pope Francis.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a legal opinion announced Thursday, the U.S. Government Accountability Office said that the postal service must continue to blank on Saturdays.

DICKINSON: Deliver mail.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The U.N. announced Thursday that it will investigate accusations that chemical weapons were used in blank.

DICKINSON: Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Closed to the public since Hurricane Sandy, the blank of blank is scheduled to reopen by the 4th of July.

DICKINSON: The Statue of Liberty.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following British soccer star David Beckham's announcement he was donating his entire salary to a charity, Swedish soccer star Zlatan announced he was donating his entire salary to blank.

DICKINSON: Himself.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A five-year-old girl who found a fossil on a beach is being credited with discovering a new species of blank.

DICKINSON: Dinosaur.

SAGAL: Yes, it's so cute.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In simultaneous Facebook status updates, Lindsey Vonn and blank announced that they are dating.

DICKINSON: Tiger Woods.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A bus trip from Atlantic City to New York took a horrifying turn when 15 minutes into the trip blank came out of the air vents.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

DICKINSON: Wait a minute. Sewage.

SAGAL: No, thousands of cockroaches.

BODETT: It's a Carnival cruise bus.

SAGAL: One passenger described the scene, quote: "There were like a thousand roaches. People were in the aisles literally brushing roaches off themselves." Greyhound estimates there were thousands of cockroaches on the bus, which is dozens more than the usual bus ride.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Amy do?

KURTIS: Amy got seven points for 14 more points, and the total now is 17 with the lead.

SAGAL: There you are.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: So how many then does Charlie need to win this thing?

KURTIS: Seven to tie, eight to win.

CHARLIE PIERCE: And worse, I have to do it in front of legendary broadcaster Bill Kurtis.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, here we go, Charlie. This is for the game. On Thursday, the House passed legislation that would keep the government funded through September and avoid a blank.

PIERCE: A government shutdown.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: While in Israel this week, President Obama said that blanks deserve a state of their own.

PIERCE: Palestinians.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the American Academy of Pediatrics gave its full support to blank, as well as foster care and parenting rights.

PIERCE: Gay marriage.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: During a recent state dinner at the White House, Sir Richard Branson asked President Obama if he blanked.

(LAUGHTER)

PIERCE: I don't know, tweeted.

SAGAL: No, he asked President Obama if he had any weed.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The President said no.

PIERCE: That's more than one blank, first of all.

SAGAL: Although tours have been cancelled, the White House said they will still host the annual blank on the White House lawn next weekend.

PIERCE: The Easter egg roll.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the New York Times reported that NBC is planning to move the "Tonight Show" to New York and replace Jay Leno with blank.

PIERCE: Jimmy Fallon.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A pitcher for the Philadelphia Phillies was probably surprised to hear this week that he had been traded to the Los Angeles Angels for blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

PIERCE: This is the oldest baseball joke in the world, a bag of baseballs.

SAGAL: No. He was traded for nothing.

BODETT: Worse than that.

PIERCE: Which is what the bag of baseballs is a metaphor for generally.

SAGAL: I understand.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But they didn't even get a bag of baseballs. The official term for Mike Cisco's trade was no compensation, as in, hey, we'll give you pitcher Mike Cisco for - hey, you know what? We're good.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So the Los Angeles Angels got Cisco for free, but they may have started rethinking the deal when once he arrived, thousands of roaches poured out of his vents.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Charlie do well enough to win.

PIERCE: Oh, heck no.

KURTIS: He did very well, pretty well, but he couldn't catch Amy. She's the winner this week.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done, Amy.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.